Sometimes I want to jump; jump from a tall building and land splat on the ground. I don't car if my guts are everywhere. I just want out of this small box called my world. I don't have never many friends, I almost never go out, I can't tell my mom how I truly feel without her going against what I'm trying to say and my mom's cheating. Jumping would be quick and before I knew it I would be dead. Heaven and Hell...ether one is fine. As long as it isn't the hell I was raised in. My dad got it worse and my mom didn't have the best childhood but, not the worst. Why does mine have to be bad? Why do I have to live through it? I don't have any brothers or sister that would join me. When I'm with mom I just feel like sh*t. Ignored, Misunderstood, Unloved and all the things a child shouldn't feel. I thought she loved me. She says that she feels upset when I don't hug her back but, that's because she hasn't hugged me since forever ago. Ever since she found another love she let me sit on my bed on the computer. That's when I started going on Deviantart. Dating Sims make me feel pretty and so do fan fictions. It makes me feel like someone loves me. Sure my first crush didn't quite work out but, I still want to feel like someone wants me. My mom always sleeps do to her work leaving me to feel bad awake. I'm waiting for that special someone in life but, I want them now because I can't take it anymore. Nothing in life is going right. Every time my heart beats I feel nothing. Like all of my emotions got sucked out of me. I'm not pretty, I'm not strong and I'm a geeky *ss b*tch. If somehow my life turns around before I jump...I'll finally be happy.